Why worry?
by Chachakala
Summary: Ray and Neela! Ray becomes worried about his relationship with Neela (PG13 for a bit of subject matter later on...), so who can help? Please R&R! (Complete! Yay)
1. Now a man

Woo! It's my first ER fic!

**Plot:** (At the risk of sounding cheesy) Ray and Neela begin a relationship, but Ray starts to worry…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters or places you recognise from ER. I just play with them!

It was going to be a normal, regular day at the ER. People rushing in, people rushing out, people complaining about the people rushing in…Neela Rasgotra grabbed her coffee and tried in vain to fight off a headache that threatened to take over. Great. Just what she needed: another thing to enjoy on a day at work, and she hadn't even set foot into the building yet.

But…if she was perfectly honest with herself, Neela would have admit that she wouldn't be anywhere else. At all. Her doubts about becoming a doctor seemed stupid now she looked back at them. And besides, could she just give up now, after all that trying through her life? Her GCSEs and A-Levels all chosen with being a doctor in mind. Extra-curricular activities that her parents enrolled her in. Could she give up? The answer, it seemed, was no. She liked it here. She liked the people here. Hell, she even liked a few of the other interns here!

As if on cue, Ray appeared next to her, hopping off his skateboard and smiling with his usual, and very _infuriating_, energy. When he spotted the caffeine-loaded drink in her hand he raised an eyebrow. "Trying to wake up?"

"At six in the morning? What do you think?" Neela took a sip of her coffee, trying not to smile. Even if Ray did continually make smart-arse comments, and was irresponsible in most things – he was still fun to talk to…

"_I'm_ awake."

…Even if he was an insufferable prat at times…

"That's _you_, Ray. Are you ever tired?"

"Uhh…" He went into a mock-thoughtful expression. "Probably not."

They stepped through the sliding doors and were plunged, as usual, into the heat and noise of a morning in the Emergency Room at County General. Managing to make it to the lockers without being waylaid by an attending who needed help with something was a very rare occasion, but they managed to get there with no mishaps.

"Neela…" Ray stuffed his things into the locker, looking over at the other intern as she folded her coat.

"Yep?"

"How'd you like to grab something after this shift?"

She turned and raised one eyebrow at him. "Are you asking me out, Ray?"

He nodded smugly. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Alright." Neela shut the door of her locker and walked out of the room, Ray following her.

"Is that all you've got to say? Alright?"

"What am I supposed to do? Fall at your feet?"

"It would be nice…"

"If you want a girlfriend whose sole purpose is to flatter your ego, don't pick me." She grabbed one of the charts and swept off in another direction; leaving Ray to stare at her for a moment.

"You've joined the rest of us now." Frank remarked from his position on the desk.

"What?"

"It always happens. You can get any girl you want, and then you make the mistake of asking out one who makes you feel like dirt." The man smiled his most annoying smile. "Congratulations: you are now a man."

Shaking his head, Ray picked up three of his own charts. "Now a man…Okay…I'll bear that in mind…"


	2. My place or yours?

Thank you SO much, people who reviewed my story! I love you all! Thanks for the intern thing, AshCarrol! I'm not your number-one-medical-expert, as you may have guessed…

And this is about a week after he asked her out…I had no ideas for the date, really…

It's a short one now guys!

* * *

"Hey, gorgeous – my place or yours?"

Ray slipped his arm around Neela's waist, pulling her closer – as usual. She just kept right on walking, leaving him to follow her: as usual. It was really beginning to annoy Ray; how he could spend all this effort on trying to chat her up, and she could just throw it all back in his face…

Maybe Frank had a point about the "makes you feel like dirt" thing.

"C'mon, Neela! We've been going out for a week now…"

"And?"

She looked back at him, one eyebrow raised in question. But there was just enough flirtatiousness in her eyes, and just enough of a smile on her lips that Ray could tell she knew exactly what he was referring to. And she was just going to annoy him with it for a bit – after all, he had no right to demand anything from her, did he?

"_And, _I think you should at least let me show some affection towards you…" This time she let him put his arm around her, and they set off for a small café along the street. "See, this isn't so bad!"

The young woman chuckled, pulling her coat tighter around herself against the drizzle of snow which began to fall around them. "At least it's warmer like this…"

"See! I'm not all bad!"

"Says the man who spends half an hour over himself in the mornings…"

Ray gave a shout of laugher. "Oh yeah, miss "I need to find my hairbrush"!"

"At least I _use_ a hairbrush, instead of all that gel…and what does all this say about you? I can spend one night at your flat and know everything about you…"

They were like this a lot – friendly teasing, Ray making jokes, Neela making more sarcastic comments…more like friends than actual boyfriend and girlfriend, when Ray thought about it. And he thought about it a lot – the aforementioned night had been when they had been over at her house – they had rented a few movies, had a takeaway…and it didn't go anywhere. That was possibly the biggest disappointment to Ray: what was the point of a gorgeous, beautiful girlfriend if she didn't let you see her once in a while?

At any rate, Ray had spent the rest of the night on the sofa. Not exactly what he had planned…

And every time he thought it could possibly go anywhere, it didn't! She just made some excuse! It was getting more and more difficult to find reasons to be alone with her…

And it was beginning to make him feel more and more inadequate.


	3. More nausea

To all you people who reveiwed:Thank you! I was so amazed to see all these! And all will be revealed in time, my friends. All will be revealed…

Though yeah, I admit I do have a tendency to do things from Ray's POV. I seem to be better at writing about guys than girls – even though I'm a girl. Ah well. Two chapters tonight!

* * *

"Hey Ray." 

"Lockhart! What've you got for me?"

Abby thrust four medical charts into his hands. "Head trauma, abdominal pains, nausea, and…" She checked the last one. "…More nausea. It's gonna be a fun day…"

"Oh yeah. Can't you see my excitement? And – can I talk to you sometime?"

"I don't know, Ray…my mommy always told me to keep away from strange men…" A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth.

"I'm serious. Catch you on your break?"

"Sure."

They went their separate ways, Ray getting through the patients with his usual speed. The last one of his current four (ostensibly named "more nausea") was a girl of seventeen. Pretty enough, but with a very worried expression.

"Tanya Roberts? I'm Doctor Barnett."

She smiled shyly. "Hi."

"Hi. You came here with…nausea?"

"More than that. I get sick most mornings now, and my stomach hurts…and I just feel strange." She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what could be wrong…"

"Okay, we'll get a blood test for you, and see what that tells us. Any other problems?"

"I…ah…I've been kind of sore…" She waved her hands in the appropriate area, her face flushing red.

"Hey, would you like to talk to one of my female colleagues? I'm sure I can find someone…"

"Would you?" The girl bit her lip.

"Sure. Give me a few minutes, okay?"

He looked up and down the corridor, catching Neela just as she turned the corner. "Hey Neela, can you help me out?"

"What do you want?" She looked more than a little annoyed at being stopped by him, much to his dismay.

"I got a girl in there…" He lowered his voice. "Nausea, and vaginal soreness. She'd rather talk to a girl."

"Will you take mine?"

He took the clip-boards from her hands and nodded, walking off and watching her from a distance for a moment as she drew the curtain around Tanya Roberts's bed.

"Tanya Roberts? I'm Neela Rasgotra – Doctor Barnett said you'd like to see a female doctor?"

"Yeah." The girl relaxed minutely. "It's kind of embarrassing with a guy…"

"I know." Neela smiled. "Now, he said you were sore? Can you describe it to me?"

"Well, it hurts when I pee. And then…I keep on feeling sick, and all…I figured something was wrong."

"Is there any discharge?"

"Uh…no."

Neela nodded. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Tanya looked down, plainly unsure about telling the intern. "Yeah. His name's Dave."

"And…have you had sexual intercourse with him?"

The patient blushed firey red. "You won't tell my mom?"

"Only if you want me to." The intern noticeably softened – she knew what parents could be like.

"Well…yes. We have. Do…do you think that could have caused it?"

"Tanya, when you had sex, did either of you use protection?"

The worried look was back again. "N-no. He said we wouldn't need any…"

Neela swallowed, looking noticeably uncomfortable. "Do you know when your last period was, Tanya?"

"I…it's still kind of irregular. I haven't had one in a while…" Her expression changed into one of comprehension – and overwhelming worry. "Do you think I'm pregnant?"

Seeing how unhappy the girl looked, Neela reached out and patted her arm. "It's a possibility. We'll see the results of the blood test, and then I'd like to give you a physical exam."

"Why?"

"You mentioned that it hurt when you urinated? If it's pregnancy, it shouldn't hurt. Did Dave mention any infection he may have had?"

_This is the guy who told her they didn't need contraception…what do you think, Neela? Why would he tell her that, of all things?_ Neela berated herself, the girl's answer coming as no surprise to her.

"No. But he would have said…"

"Okay. Shall I examine you now, or would you like someone present?"

Biting her lip seemed to be a nervous habit. "No – my mom doesn't know about Dave. And my dad would be too embarrassed."

Noticing that inviting Dave along wasn't seen as an option by Tanya, Neela nodded. "That's fine. Now, don't be embarrassed. It's nothing I haven't seen before!"


	4. Kinda a bit nervous

Ray joined Abby outside the hospital on their break, each cupping a mug of something in their hands to ward off the cold. Turning to look at him curiously, Abby raised her eyebrows. "What did you want to talk about?"

She could see the young man fidget uncomfortably before he replied. "Uh…Neela."

"What about Neela?"

"Well…you know her better than I do. Has she…uh…ever mentioned a boyfriend?"

"You've been going out for what, three weeks now? Don't you count as one?" She asked, frowning.

"I was just wondering if…you knew how many guys she'd had…"

"Not the kind of thing she'd tell me, Ray. But not too many – ever met her parents?"

"No…"

"They're…I guess strict is one word for them. Why do you want to know about that?"

"She's kinda…a bit…nervous?"

A raised eyebrow. "Nervous how?"

"You know…when we kiss…"

"Look – you need to be talking about this with her. Not all girls want a physical relationship too soon, Ray."

"Yeah I know, but…"

"But nothing, Ray. Talk about this with her – it's the only way you'll be able to sort it out."

She walked back inside, Ray eventually following suit after he had finished his drink. Everything was so complicated… "Neela!" He ran into her as she tried to brush past him.

"Oh, Hi…" She said, a little vaguely. "Have you seen that girl around anywhere? Tanya Roberts…"

"What, the nausea one? Yeah, she went to the cafeteria. Neela, we need to talk."

"Not now, Ray. I need to find her."

"Why?"

"Because her blood test came back, and she's pregnant. She also has Chlamydia, and I'm worried about the bruising on her vagina."

Ray frowned. "Poor girl. What caused that?"

"What do you think, Ray? I saw some other bruises to, on her arms. I think her boyfriend's been at her." Her anger was evident. "I'll have to ask her…"

"Yeah. I'll…I'll catch you soon, OK?"

"Maybe."

And leaving that "maybe" hanging in the air in front of him, Neela jogged off in the direction of the cafeteria. But her refusal to talk to him only made Ray more annoyed. She wouldn't talk to him…wouldn't do anything with him! So as he walked over to his next patient, he made up his mind. He would end it tonight, when he walked her home after their shift.


	5. A sign of rape

Once again, I love all your reveiws!

* * *

"Miss Roberts?" 

Neela inquired, parting the curtain that had been drawn around the girl's bed. Tanya Roberts looked up from where she lay apathetically on the sheets. It was plain to the intern that she had been crying. Recently.

"Are…are you alright?"

"Yeah." The young woman wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

"I must have missed you as you left the cafeteria. The results of your blood test came back."

Neela moved to sit next to the bed, showing Tanya the brown envelope that held her results.

"Wh-what does it say?"

"It's confirmed that you _are_ pregnant, but I'm afraid you also have Chlamydia." She let that sink in for a moment. Tears welled up in her patient's eyes, and the girl shook her head.

"No…no, I can't. He would have told me if he had…"

"Miss Roberts – Tanya – with all respect, your boyfriend told you that no contraception was needed." But Neela's tone was infinitely gentle, even if the words may have been harsh. "Tanya, did he hurt you?"

"Huh?"

"There is bruising around your vagina. I would normally diagnose that as a sign of rape…"

"No. It's not rape…" Tanya bit her lip, so hard it almost started bleeding. "It just…nothing. Forget I said it! I'd like to go home now!"

"You'll have to wait to get the medicine for Chlamydia, but then, yes. I can discharge you. But if Dave has been hurting you…"

"No, no. It's fine."

* * *

"Ray, have you seen her?"

"Who?" The young man took the x-ray down from the wall, and frowned at his girlfriend – or, as he reminded himself – his ex-girlfriend, after tonight.

"My patient. Tanya Roberts!"

"Oh her. The meds came down, so I discharged her."

"When?"

"Just now… Hey!" He ran after her as she sped off to the exit, catching Tanya Roberts by the arm.

"Tanya…if he's been hurting you…"

The girl looked close to tears. "He hasn't, OK?"

"He has, and you know it! Look, Tanya – it's still rape, even if it is your boyfriend."

Tanya blinked, a slow frown spreading over her face. "Huh?"

"Even if he told you it wasn't, it still is."

"It…it is?"

"Yes. Did he say it wasn't?"

She nodded. "Y-yeah. He said that because he was my boyfriend, nobody would listen to me…it wasn't rape…" Tears began to pour down her cheeks. "Oh my God…"

Neela hesitantly put an arm around the other girl's shoulders, and Tanya clung to her as sobs wracked her body. "Shh…shh…It'll be OK. He won't get you again…" She led the girl off to the family room, to call for police a psyche consult. But nobody could miss the expression of unnatural (for a doctor towards a patient) worry for Tanya on her face.

Ray was watching all this in astonishment. It had never occurred to him to question the word of a patient who swore that nothing was wrong – he just wasn't that kind of guy. It was most likely the same personality flaw that meant he hadn't asked Neela why she didn't respond to him, and had been so insensitive to all the signs that had been screaming at him ever since this morning…

How stand-offish she had been – even for her – since she had met Tanya Roberts…

And then it all clicked.

He knew what it meant. All at once, he knew what was wrong with Neela…

* * *

C'mon, people! Blatant clue there! If you can guess why Neela is being like this, you win a prize… 


	6. Just infatuation

Esta Cena Fan and CharmingPiper, you win! The prize – a sense of smug superiority, knowing you got it right. Hehe. Now…if anyone has any ideas of how to finish this up, they would be welcomed…

* * *

"Neela!" Ray ran full pelt down the street, arriving breathless beside Neela. "Why'd you leave without me? I said I'd walk you home tonight!"

"I just wanted to be on my own."

Well, if that wasn't an obvious – and completely unsatisfactory – answer! Ray walked next to his girlfriend, despite the fact that she quickened her pace. He had been wanting to talk to her since that afternoon. The police had come, and taken a statement from Tanya Roberts. The man who raped her had been arrested, and despite the girl's fear, her mother had been full of concern and support for her daughter, rather than the expected anger. Neela had disappeared into the ladies toilets and hadn't come out for half an hour – Sam had told Ray she could hear crying, but when the intern reappeared she looked fine.

And ever since then, she had taken every pain to avoid Ray. It was very well done – it didn't even look as if she was trying to keep away from him. But he knew she was. At long last he was starting to realise that there was more to a person's feelings than what they actually said to you.

"Neela, talk to me!"

"What about?" Her tone was colder than he ever remembered it being. She pulled the keys to her flat out of her pocket, and glared at him. "Leave me alone, Ray."

"Why should I? I care about you, Neela!"

She flinched, and opened the door. But before she could stop him, Ray followed her inside, and stayed behind her all the way up the stairs.

"Ray, just go home." Unlocking her own door, she turned her back on him. "Please. Leave me alone."

But he still came into her apartment, even though she didn't want to. "Neela…please talk to me!"

"Don't come in!"

"You can't stop me! Look! I'm inside now! Neela, I want to know what's wrong!"

"It's none of your business!" She pulled off her coat, and hung it over the back of a chair, her eyes never leaving him. "Why did you have to come in?"

"Because I want to know what's wrong! How many times to I have to say it? What can I do to convince you that I care about you?"

"You can leave!"

Closing his eyes for a moment, Ray pulled his temper back under his control. He didn't want to shout at her – that was the last thing he should be doing. "I won't, Neela. Not until you tell me who it was."

She looked at him warily. "Who what was?"

"The guy…" He swallowed. "The guy who raped you. Don't tell me he didn't – I saw how you reacted to that girl today."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I want to help you! I don't want you to be scared of me any more."

Neela looked away at last, taking a shuddering breath and going to sit down on the sofa. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone?"

He wouldn't. Of course he wouldn't. But he needed to tell her what she wanted to hear. "Yes." Crossing the room he sat down next to her, at the other end of the couch.

She leaned back, looking very firmly at the floor next to her.

"He was called Ryan. I suppose I was only going out with him to annoy my parents – they don't like the idea of me having a boyfriend." She sighed. "He was nice. I was in love with him for a while. At least, I thought I was. It was probably just infatuation. We'd meet up in his flat, watch a movie…"

"When…was this?"

"Just before I moved here. I wanted to get away from him…so I moved to America." Neela shook her head. "I was stupid. I didn't want to sleep with him, so why did I go out with him? But…one night he told me I should. I said I didn't want to – I tied to leave. And then he…" She closed her eyes, flinching away from Ray when he tried to touch her arm. "I thought he didn't mean to. How stupid is that? The whole time I'd been telling him to stop…and then he did it again…"

"A-again?"

"Three times…" Her voice cracked. "He wouldn't let me leave the house for a bit. Told me to go and have a shower. So I went into the bathroom and took my clothes with me. But I just turned the shower on and wet my hair. I left it on for five minutes, then changed…" She fell silent.

"Then what?"

"He left. So then I walked out, and I went straight to the police…"

"Where is he now?"

"He got a year. But he's probably on parole by now…I don't know. He – he'd done it to two other girls as well…"

This time she didn't move when Ray tried to hug her. But when he pulled her closer, she began to cry. "They told me it wasn't my fault…"

"It wasn't! Of course it wasn't!"

"But if I hadn't…"

"Hey, you didn't do anything to deserve that, okay?" The young man stroked Neela's hair very gently. "You didn't."

They stayed like that, Ray holding Neela while she cried, for an hour or more.


	7. Stop blaming yourself

Last chapter! Yay! Be happy, people! I love you all!

* * *

Neela blinked her eyes open, looking around in momentary confusion. She was at home, in her flat…but who else was here? She could hear sounds coming from the kitchen. But then the previous night came flooding back – how she had told Ray about the rape, and he had spent the rest of the night just holding her, and soothing her, and telling her not to worry, it wasn't her fault.

So that meant it was Ray that she could hear in the kitchen. The clock told her it was 9:00 in the morning, and for the first time in her life she was glad she had a night shift. "R-ray?"

"Neela!" He pushed a plate of toast into her hand, and put a glass of orange juice on the table. "You OK?"

"Yeah." She took a drink, smiling up at him gratefully. "You don't have to stay, you know."

"Hey! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't look after you?"

Neela frowned a little. "You still want to be? Even after I was so horrible to you?"

"Of course!" Ray smiled warmly, sitting down beside her and taking her hand in his. "You had every reason not to trust me, after what happened to you!"

"I should have explained…"

"Hey, hey! You need to stop blaming yourself for everything, Neela. It's not good for you!"

She couldn't help but smile – he looked so concerned, so eager. "OK."

"You mean we can make it work? I mean…I know we can, but if you don't feel like a relationship right now…"

She stopped him with a shake of her head. "No. I do want to stay with you. I've been hiding away for too long…"

"Hey, don't do this just because you think you should, OK?"

Neela looked into his eyes – more full of worry and concern and…maybe even love…than she had ever seen them before – and smiled. She smiled so wide she couldn't stop. And she didn't want to stop. Wrapping her arms around his neck she kissed him long and deep, pulling away only so they could get their breath back.

"No, Ray. I know I should. I want to be with you so much…"

His truly happy and very handsome smile matched hers as it was he this time who initiated the kiss.

"Just as long as you never tease me about my hair gel again…"

* * *

And there it ends! Now I have to think of a subject for another fic to occupy myself with… 


End file.
